


Oh; When You Love It

by moonqueenmaia



Category: Black Lightning (Comics), Black Lightning (TV)
Genre: F/F, black lightning 2x14, point of view swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 13:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18993685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonqueenmaia/pseuds/moonqueenmaia
Summary: The Anissa/Grace combat scene of episode 2x14 written from Grace's perspective.





	Oh; When You Love It

The apartment smells of rotting flesh and blood. Grace would heave if she wasn’t so hungry; if whatever monster inside of her wasn’t craving the meat of the deer she’d felled. Between repulsion and starvation, her survival instincts won. Even if flies swarmed around the corpse of the animal, she could no longer tame what was inside of her. 

Even as she ate, she felt a growing self-hatred, boiling and bubbling and threatening to spill over. She hated herself for what she was becoming. She hated herself for giving into a creature’s desires. She hated herself for hiding away from the world like a coward, always running, never stopping, constantly leaving everything behind. 

Most of all, she hated herself for leaving without telling Anissa goodbye. Without kissing her one last time. Without apologizing. 

It was as if she was being cleaved in two. There was the human side of her, who longed for a normal life and craved the taste of Anissa’s lips upon hers once again. There was also the darker, uglier side of her, which previously only surfaced when she had to prioritize survival. Running from abusive foster parents. Running from sex traffickers. Running, running, always running, until perhaps it gave rise to the ugly being she could feel growing inside her. 

She’d always known that her darkness would threaten to consume her one day, and as she sat eating the dead deer, she knew it was happening to her at that very moment. Perhaps the human side of her was watching, out of body, while the monstrous side of her ate the deer. 

Almost lost in thought, she nearly didn’t register the knock on her door. Startled, Grace stood up and wiped her mouth with her hand, fearfully walking backward. No one was supposed to be able to find her. No one was supposed to know where she was. That ugly survival instinct hit her full force, and she glanced at the sole window in her dirty, lonely apartment. 

“Grace, are you in here? Grace!” called a voice that sounded suspiciously like Anissa’s. Grace’s heart stopped, then redoubled. Out of all the people she didn’t want to see her like this, Anissa was at the top of the list. If Anissa saw what she had become, she’d hate her for sure. 

Grace scrambled around to get her bearings while the ceaseless pounding on the door continued. If it really was Anissa outside the door, she had to get out of here, and quickly. Anissa was the last person who needed to see what Grace had been reduced to. More than that, though, she did not want the creature inside her to hurt Anissa. At this point, Grace no longer understood what she was capable of. 

“I don’t want any trouble!” Anissa called again. “I just want to know if she’s okay.” 

Grace’s heart stuttered in her chest. Even now, even after leaving her behind in the dust, with no explanation or even a text message, she still cared about her. For all that Grace had initially feared that Anissa would grow bored of her and leave her behind, she knew now that it was the opposite. Anissa loved with every fiber of her being. She was compassionate to her core, and loyal beyond belief. Grace knew that she did not deserve to be on the receiving end of her love. She hadn’t done anything to deserve Anissa’s selflessness. Yet still, that unquenchable, unbreakable part of her felt electrified because Anissa still cared. Anissa cared enough about her to track her all the way here. The terrified part of her wondered what resources Anissa had access to, resources that enabled her to pinpoint her exact location, but a larger part of her, one that she was no longer able to repress, ached to open the door and hold Anissa in her arms again, to reassure her that she was okay, and not going anywhere again. 

Anissa kept calling her name. Grace could no longer stand rooted in the spot, torn between heartache and fear. The creature inside of her, the one that fed on her terror and her knack for survival, was coming out, clawing its way up, ready to take over. She could feel her skin shifting and changing, the sickly feeling of her bones moving and her outward appearance becoming drastically altered. More than anything, more than having to feed on dead animals or hide in a deteriorating apartment, she hated the transformation process. Right now, though, she knew it would save her. 

Before she could open the window and flee, the door came crashing down, and the person responsible for barging through stood behind it, triumphant in all her glory and worry. Grace, in the guise of an old man, thought she was hallucinating at first. She thought it had been Anissa behind the door, but the woman who stood before her was none other than Thunder, the beautiful avenging vigilante and superhero, who patrolled the streets of Freeland with Black Lightning and kept the community safe from evil men, predators, and racists. Why in the world would someone as important as Thunder care about the likes of Grace? Grace was nothing, and no one. Her disappearance should not have registered on Thunder’s radar, and yet here she stood, looking ready to tear apart the world for Grace’s sake. 

In her shock, Grace came to a startling and damning realization. While Thunder approached her, she noticed the similarities between Thunder’s build and Anissa’s build. In spite of the mask and the suite, Thunder was as beautiful and as tall as Anissa, her hair the same style and color, her confident and graceful manner of walking the same. And if Thunder was Anissa, it would explain why Anissa was able to find her, and why Thunder, of all people, showed up at her doorstep. 

Grace knew how she appeared to Anissa (or Thunder) at that moment: a seedy looking old man living in a rundown, dark apartment, with the rotting corpse of a deer in the corner. She crouched, because she knew Anissa would come at her. What she wasn’t prepared for was how strong Anissa’s push would be. 

They fought, Grace summoning all her martial arts skills to the surface, and Anissa (Thunder) pushing back, matching every move in her arsenal. The lovestruck part of her marveled at how strong Anissa was. It was no wonder Anissa was Thunder; compassionate, loving, loyal, caring beyond belief, and motivated by the injustices she witnessed daily. Grace understood at that moment that just as she had hidden this part of herself from Anissa, so too had Anissa hidden her superhero identity. But Grace was not bitter; she knew why Anissa did it, and felt ashamed for the all the times she’d felt resentful toward Anissa disappearing on her. 

The fight was increasing in intensity, and Grace could feel herself slipping, which was  _not_ an option. The creature inside her snarled at her weakness, and she snapped back. Under no circumstances did she want to hurt Anissa. She’d rather die than ever hurt her. 

Anissa swung at her again, and Grace doubled back, flitting to the side. Panting, she gazed at Anissa one last time, before running to the window and crashing through it to exit. She did not register the pain she felt from the shards of the window digging into her skin. All she could feel was love, regret, fear, and adrenaline humming in her veins. 

Anissa was Thunder, and had come looking for her twice. Anissa loved her, and Grace had left her. Now, more than ever, Grace knew she could never see Anissa again. They had to live on opposite sides, as parallel lines, never meeting, never touching. For her own safety, and above all, for Anissa’s happiness, Grace knew she could not allow herself to find Anissa, or reach out to her. It was for the best. 

Grace did not look back as she blended into the night. 


End file.
